Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Voyage Aboard the One Seven Four

So you think only an ocean-crossing trip qualifies as a voyage? You think a mere Rishon LeZion>Tel Aviv>Rishon LeZion bus-ride does not merit the name?

I beg to differ.

I reached my conclusions the hard way, i.e., cold and bitter experience. Cold, because the a/c on the bus is enough to make an Eskimo reach for his fur coat; and bitter because I forgot to replenish my emergency stock of fruit Mentos, for which I have no one to blame but myself, and the fact that I didn’t think a mere Rishon-TA bus ride required such meticulous preparation.

Women’s fashion this summer dictates large bags, the kind that can comfortably hold a basketball and still have room for the average female city-traipser’s paraphernalia. No, I’m not referring to the rare woman who leaves the house with a tiny clutch that can barely hold a single tissue, house-key, and credit card.

Luckily for me, I have this Lee Cooper shoulder bag that I fell in love with way back in 2008, that has lots of pockets.

On any given day, the bag inventory is as follows: Really Fat wallet (let’s not go there); make-up bag (ditto; the term “makeup” is used here very loosely);checkbook; business cards; Parker ball point, Pilot V5 Hi-Techpoint; mini Sharpie marker; mechanical pencil; assorted keys; tissues; lip balm; notebook/writing pad; Palm PDA (yes, I know they’re nearly obsolete, but it contains so much valuable data that I never look at!!!); diary/datebook (in case PDA lets me down); earphones for Palm; cellphone; mints/cough drops/chewing gum; various flyers and/or vouchers for coffee-and-croissant (possibly out of date); spare panties (old habit from my early twenties when I wasn’t sure where I’d end up spending the night; also accounts for the toothbrush in the makeup bag).

Now, consider all the extra stuff that went into said bag for the purpose of the arduous, demanding voyage aboard the One Seven Four, and the demanding 5 hour stay in an apartment at the Far End of Civilization, namely a central Tel Aviv boulevard, which you must admit is still the far end of civilization from some perspectives; or for a given value of Far, or End, or Civilization:
  • Hat
  • Scarf/gloves/long sleeved shirt (see Eskimo above)
  • Spare T-shirt in case Baby Momo spits up or pees on me, which he has been known to do
  • Apple, granola bar – in case my daughter’s [kitchen] cupboard is bare and it’s too darn hot to pop out to Tiv Taam or AM PM along Ibn Gvirol
  • Laptop, wireless mouse, charger, computer glasses – in case Momo sleeps like a baby (ha!) and I can work, or blog, or email, or Chat, or…
  • Bottle of water, in case we’re stranded at the bus stop (has been known to happen)
  • Thingy I promised Daria (there’s always a thingy. Dr. Spock’s Baby & Child Care – yes, there was Help before The Baby Whisperer -- , that comfy tunic, a photo of Daria, 6 wks old, to compare to Momo; magic potion to put Baby to sleep)
  • Camera (in case Momo does something really cute, which he invariably does and my cellphone camera sucks, and I’m the last of my generation to not switch to a smartphone, yet)
Total weight: 57.3 kg. Or thereabouts.

I’d better get out my ocean-crossing backpack and start transferring everything to it…

On the bright side, since the reform in public transportation in Gush Dan, a one-way ticket costs me only NIS 3.20 – just under one dollar. Can you beat that?

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